Handling harassment

Know what you are dealing with

Adult creators attract more than their share of unpleasant messages, and the right response depends on which kind you have.

• Rude or entitled fans. Demanding, pushy, bad at hearing no. Annoying, but usually not dangerous.
• Hate. Strangers who disapprove of what you do and want you to know it. Often a one-off, sometimes in waves after a post gets attention.
• Sexual harassment. Unwanted explicit messages, demands for free content, pressure to do things you have said you do not do.
• Targeted harassment. One person or a group who keep coming back, create new accounts, follow you between platforms, or try to involve your personal life.

The first three are handled with boundaries and the block button. The fourth is covered in the stalkers guide and needs documentation and, sometimes, outside help.

Responding without feeding it

Most harassers want a reaction. The less they get, the sooner they leave.

• Do not argue, explain or defend. One clear sentence at most, then block.
• Do not screenshot it for your fans to see, except in rare cases. It gives the harasser an audience and tells others that it works.
• Block quickly and without guilt. You do not owe anyone a warning.
• Set rules once, publicly, in your bio or a pinned post: what you do not do, how you expect to be spoken to. Then you can point at the rule rather than relitigating it.
• Use paid messaging as a filter. People who have paid to talk to you behave better, and the ones who will not pay were rarely going to be customers.

Protecting yourself while you work

• Check messages at set times rather than letting them interrupt all day. Nothing in your inbox is an emergency.
• If a wave of hate arrives after a post goes wide, step away for a day. Turn off notifications, let the wave pass, come back and block in a batch.
• Keep a short log of anything that feels like it could escalate: username, date, what was said. If it ever does escalate, you will be glad of it.
• Talk to other creators. The problem is common, the tactics are shared, and a group chat of people who understand is worth more than it sounds.

When it stops being ordinary

Escalate when someone threatens you or people you know, mentions or hints at knowing your real identity or location, follows you across platforms after being blocked, or involves your family, employer or school. Report it on every platform involved; on VestaCreate a person reads every report. Save everything. Read the stalkers guide and do not wait for it to get worse before you act.